True to Myself

Let me drop this off

One of my peeves in life is being around someone who has an agenda for me

Even though I am getting wiser, I hate myself when I let this happen

I'm not blaming others-I take responsibility

But when it begins to change me into someone/something i am not, it's hard for me to look in the mirror

I hate losing this battle

Maybe you have been there too?

Conversely, I love others who (try to) bring out the best in me

About a year ago a friend encouraged me, as I was sharing a life issue that I need to "be true to myself"

Since then, I have wrestled with these words

What this means to me is I should be who I am-with my gifts and desires and issues-and not try to be anyone else or let others make me into something I am not

This might not be your struggle or where you are...that is cool

But, maybe you are wrestling with who you are and your make up

I am getting older and have taken several personality and gifting exams, verified them with my wife, my family, and close friends who I have walked through life with over the past 15 years

I think I have a pretty accurate picture of who I am, what my gifting is, what my issues tend to be and a fundamental understanding of God's role in my life and my identity

Maybe that's why this peeve is so unsettling

Why does this happen?

Who am I really trying to fool? Or please?

God?
Myself?
My family?
My co-workers?
Others?

There is this battle inside

One I imagine that will accompany me through life

The struggle to be true to myself and the unique way I am created versus the way I may try to fool others or let others shape me

I hope it goes without saying which way i think is right and where I am heading