Tears of trust

A few days ago I had one of those cries...not the kind you get when your teams wins a game or when a movie turns your inside out or even when you break a bone

This was a deep, guttural cry

The kind you can't stop once it starts

The kind where you lose your breath and your body trembles

The kind where you are not in control

I was low. Real low

I later described this time to a friend as the low point in my parenting career

I had appealed to one of my children in every way possible they were making what i knew would be a big mistake in their life

I appealed to reason
I appealed to my history of helping them through decisions
I appealed to the Scriptures
I appealed to his peers and others he respected

and

i was rejected

i was told, "I understand, but I am going to do it anyway."

Trust was gone

Trust I had worked for many years

And I cried and cried and cried into exhaustion I went

Nobody knew him better, and yet he did not trust me

and I knew it might cost him dearly

It made me wonder...

Does God cry like that for me?

Who knows me better?

Who loves me more?

Who instructs me in a life of joy?

Yet

Do I follow Him in this way?

Do I do it my way?

Do I listen to Him since He knows best?

Does He cry like this for me?

Why trust?

I have been pondering this question-Why trust?

Why even pursue trust?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this question

As I think out loud, one word comes screaming out

Intimacy

Deep, deep down, who does not long to be truly known at the deepest level?

Think about it

Honestly

Words like loneliness or isolation or alienation are the opposite of intimacy

Who desires that?

Is trust worth pursuing?

Sure, but...

Maybe your paralyzed by fear to take a first step or...maybe you took that step
Maybe you've been burned before when you've let your guard down
You've been laughed at because you were honest
You took a step and were rejected
You thought he was the one and told all and now he is gone and you wonder about all you have given away

etc. etc.

fill in the blank, right?

Maybe you have been shut down for so long you cannot even see the light anymore

Wherever you are, I hope you'll consider pursuing intimacy...taking a step...entering the conversation...

Having it out with God
Writing a letter that will not get posted
Posting anonymously
Reading a book...or The Book

Is trust worth pursuing?

You tell me

What is...trust?

I guess if we are going to discuss developing trust in our lives we better get in the ballpark on some type of a definition

Since this is an open discussion, let me throw one thought in the mix before digging into dictionaries and thesauruses which is this: The intention of this conversation (blog) is to focus on two specific relationships--with God and with each other

There is freedom here to discuss either or both...just jump on in

In doing my homework I, of course, began with Mr. Webster who defines trust this way: "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, of truth of someone or something.

"Going a little further, "a firm belief in the integrity, ability, effectiveness, or genuineness of someone or something."

In the Scriptures truth carries the idea of "certainty based on past experience...the trait of believing in the honesty and reliability of others...or complete confidence in a person or plan."

Words for this discussion would include not only those above but also: acceptance, confidence, credence, faith, stock, assurance, dependence...the opposite would include doubt, mistrust (of course!), skepticism, suspicion, unbelief

For the purpose of our future discussions, I suggest we give weight to words like belief, confidence, and genuineness

These words will give us a basis to discuss not only what trust is but ultimately to the question of this blog-what are the roads that lead us into and out of trusting relationships?

Risky Beginnings

Guess a blog on discussing trust should start with the question, "where does trust begin?"

Been thinking a lot on this question

I'll throw out a word-Risk

What do you think?

Is this where is begins?

Is it possible to have a trusting relationship without a step forward?

A risky step

My life experience tells me this-risk-is what often hinders many from deeper intimacy in relationships

Maybe you've been burned before
Maybe you never have been
Maybe you need to step back into the game

This last week I reread the story of Abraham in the Scriptures. One day God called and asked him to leave his home, his people, his life of security for the hope of a promise

Basically, "go" and I will be with you

The more I think about his story, the more I admire his courage to obey

To go
To leave
To be available
Not knowing where God was leading him

Yet he followed, he listened, he obeyed, he went

Today he is admired by followers of Judaism, Jesus and Islam as perhaps the model of what a man of faith looks like

Yet, he could have stayed home

He risked, he trusted, he reaped the reward to now be called, "a friend of God"

Trust begins with risk

Is there a risk you need to take?