Tears of trust

A few days ago I had one of those cries...not the kind you get when your teams wins a game or when a movie turns your inside out or even when you break a bone

This was a deep, guttural cry

The kind you can't stop once it starts

The kind where you lose your breath and your body trembles

The kind where you are not in control

I was low. Real low

I later described this time to a friend as the low point in my parenting career

I had appealed to one of my children in every way possible they were making what i knew would be a big mistake in their life

I appealed to reason
I appealed to my history of helping them through decisions
I appealed to the Scriptures
I appealed to his peers and others he respected

and

i was rejected

i was told, "I understand, but I am going to do it anyway."

Trust was gone

Trust I had worked for many years

And I cried and cried and cried into exhaustion I went

Nobody knew him better, and yet he did not trust me

and I knew it might cost him dearly

It made me wonder...

Does God cry like that for me?

Who knows me better?

Who loves me more?

Who instructs me in a life of joy?

Yet

Do I follow Him in this way?

Do I do it my way?

Do I listen to Him since He knows best?

Does He cry like this for me?